My weight is finally going down a little bit, slowly but surely.

I am feeling a bit stressed, as my current job (I am filling in as a receptionist at the veterinary practice where I always worked during college/before grad school) is kind of insane AND my job offer is kind of on the rocks.  Basically, I failed the civil service requirements for the position (it's the state-level HR who decides that, even though it is the county that is hiring me).  So, my future boss's solution was to propose to his personnel department that they change the job title and experience requirements (they counted me as being 8 months shy of having the required work experience) so that it will be a sure thing.  As long as the county government approves the change on November 13th, I will begin working under a provisional basis on December 5th.  Then, the position must be publicly posted.  The only thing that could lose me this position would be if a veteran applies for it during that provisional period.  The chances of that are slim, but essentially I could work in the position for three to four months and then lose it.  I am trying to stay hopeful without being excited.  On the upside, since I will not begin my new job before Benjamin arrives, I will have plenty of time to spend with him (the big downside being that my funds for entertaining him will be severely limited).

I stopped doing Insanity when I realized that I cannot waste all of the beautiful running weather we have been having.  I have been doing a fair bit of trail running and yoga with my friend who is training to be a yoga instructor.  Unfortunately, I have completely wiped out on the trail twice in the past few weeks - there are so many leaves!  It's hard to see where you are running, and on Thursday I went for a short, but intense run (a little over 4 miles total with the first and last miles at 5k race pace) and fell flat on my face somewhere at the end of the 4th mile. This weekend I was able to run some more and went hiking with my friend.  Today I ran another four miles, and I am feeling pretty good in that department.

Eating has been… ok?  I have been eating mostly three square meals.  I skip meals occasionally, mostly out of being busy rather than an actual effort to deprive myself of food.  With the exception of some very tempting Halloween candy at work for one or two days, I hardly eat there (kale salad, a piece of fruit, and LOTS of tea).  I know that going into the holiday season and in preparation for Benjamin's visit, I need to seriously cut back.  Today, after my run, I had a fairly large breakfast, but since I ate late, I may just skip lunch, stick to tea, and have dinner when I return from work.

Most of my clothes are fitting better again and I am feeling pretty positive in the body image department, which is a small miracle.  I still have some articles that I would like to fit better, and I would be MUCH happier if I was seeing ten pounds less on the scale each morning.  I need to remain level headed, since I know when I start this new job, I will be stressed and I want to try and avoid destructive behaviors.  Even though I am in a relatively good place at the moment, I know it does not take much to tip me to the negative side.  Even now, for example, I splurged on some fancy lingerie for when Benjamin is here, and while my friend came with me and I trusted her to give me her true and honest opinions, I felt horribly self conscious and thought to myself that I would look so much better if my thighs were that much smaller and I was X pounds lighter.  We all know that in most cases, if someone is attracted to you (of whichever gender) and you are wearing something provocative/nothing at all, they are rarely critical and are just excited at the prospect.  I know he won't judge me, so why can't I stop judging myself?

Nothing to say

I have not written in about ten days now because I honestly have nothing worthwhile to say.

My weight stable between 137-138 and not going down.  I know that is my fault, so hopefully with the end of this week being incredibly busy, I will be able to lose even just a pound.

The hurricane did not have much effect here where I live - though my parents got slammed.  Everything was closed for Monday and Tuesday, so it was nice to catch up on knitting and spend time with my roommates.  I did manage to get in a good 4.5 mile run this evening.  The first decent run I have been on since the marathon, and only now, a few hours later, is my foot aching.

Still incredibly sad about Juan.  I wrote him a letter, but I am not sure if I will mail it.  Perhaps sticking it in a drawer will be enough.  If anyone wants to read it, I typed it up after writing, so I could post it here.

No one has purchased anything from my Etsy store yet, but I am confident it will happen soon.  In fact, I am ordering some yarn for Claire, so I can list a vegan (non wool/alpaca/silk) cowl especially for her.  And, I am going to knit up a pretty, warm black one for Lulu, since I know she's been freezing at work - which is a little funny to this northerner, since she lives in toasty Miami :)

I bought myself a few presents lately, mainly to try and fill the Juan void.  The first was a great pair of gently used boots on eBay.  While I maintain a vegan diet, one of my biggest motivations for maintaining a vegan lifestyle is for the environment.  Thus, I am not morally opposed to buying used leather goods in some instances as the impact of leather on the earth is far less than petroleum products.  If I can find a cruelty-free alternative, I am fine with that.  Alas, non-leather boots (cloth or "pleather") just do not hold up to wintry wear and tear.  These are a great pair and I even weather-proofed them, so they can get me through the winter.  Then, I had a bit of a splurge and decided I need a vacation.  I still have a few good friends in San Diego, so I decided to take a long weekend to SD in January.  The tickets were under $400, which is pretty reasonable, especially just after the holidays.  It was a bit out of my normal budget, but I will spread it over two or three months on my credit card and soak up all of the sunshine I can while I am there to make it worth while.  Finally, I have been thinking I should replace the jewelry that Juan gave me. I have two rings from Etsy and a lovely Tiffany's necklace.  Lest you think I am a) made of money or b) totally crazy with no sense of finances, I did not replace all at once.  I bought a lovely handcrafted necklace that I can wear every day and never feel the need to replace.  It will be just like the one in the photo, except with a tiny rough sapphire (my birth stone).  It is a bit extravagant, purchasing all of that on top of my normal expenses, but maybe it will make me feel better.

Sometime in the near-ish future, I hope to replace my perfume too.  I am thinking of selling my nearly-full bottle of D&G La Lune and replacing it with Hermes Eau Claire des Merveilles.  Truthfully, I love the perfume I wear, but Juan gave me my last bottle as a gift, and I know its the perfume he loves.  Maybe changing would be good, right?  The Eau Claire is a bit sophisticated and luxurious smelling, but still youthful. Unfortunately, it is also more expensive, and I absolutely cannot justify it right now.  Especially not with Christmas around the corner and my Etsy store having not sold a thing.  So for now, I will just get a little sample of it each time I browse a Sephora.

Goodness, I hope that doesn't sound like I am trying to brag about what I purchased.  That is not my intention, I simply do not have much else happening in my life except packages arriving in the mail every so often.

Anyway, things are sort of quiet here.  My heart is very hurt and lonely and in the back of my mind I have this kernel of hope that is wishing for him to call.  I do understand that he is finished.  Really, I do.  It is just very hard.  I know that all that I am is not tied to him, but I feel kind of like nothing - not pretty or desirable or kind enough or smart enough or whatever...

Down a little bit more

132.6 after my run today - the lowest number I have seen in ages.  That puts my real weight somewhere between 133.8-134.8 or so.  Getting under 130 by Christmas seems totally doable now.  If I can hit 125 by the time I go to California for New Year's Eve, I will be thrilled.

Thank you for all the well-wishes for my night out on Tuesday.  I met my friends at a tapas place, and my friend and I ordered a small sauteed mushroom tapas and a pitcher of sangria to share.  I ate very lightly during the day, so it worked out really well.  The sangria was enough to get me buzzed and I did not gain any weight in the morning.

We were supposed to go running, but it rained all day.  Instead, we went to Trader Joe's and the Asian market, where I stocked up on produce ($.99/lb persimmons and 20 for $1.00 clementines!).  We went to DSW, where I found my Saucony Kinvara2 shoes on sale for $50!

 

The last time I bought them, I paid somewhere right around $90, so I was thrilled.  My current pair have another 75-100 miles left in them still but I know I won't be able to find them cheaper anywhere else.  They are a minimalist shoe but more substantial than the Nike Free Run+ shoes I loved before this.  I went through two pairs of Nike Frees and found they were not holding up for my half-marathon training.  These have been great - I recommend them to anyone without major pronation problems who is looking for less cushy than a traditional shoe but on the more substantial end of the minimalist scale.

After shoe shopping, we went to a Lebanese place for lunch (for breakfast, I made us oatmeal, and made her double the amount I made for me) and I had unsweetened tea, a small salad and a cauliflower pita.  For dinner I made lentil and vegetable stew.  The only naughty things I ate on Wednesday were a few pieces of baklava (my weakness) and a few pieces of chocolate.  Yesterday was a good day eating-wise, again except for a few pieces of chocolate, but I managed to still lose a little and the chocolate is gone now.

Today will be a light eating day again, yogurt and fruit for breakfast, rice cakes for a snack, a small bowl of lentil soup, and steamed veggies of salad for dinner.  The only thing that would be better is if I could have run on both Wednesday and Thursday, but the rain ruined that.

This weekend I have to edit a group paper and catch up on some reading and other schoolwork, and then I guess I am going home for Thanksgiving.  I really don't want to, to tell you the truth, but my parents want me to come home.

I hope everyone is doing well and can breathe a big sigh of relief that is is Friday!  I hope you all have a lovely, low-calorie, exercise-induced endorphin-rushed weekend...

Fat, as usual...

I am really not in the mood to write.

My weekend was awesome - took Thursday off after my 10 miler on Wednesday.  Ran Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, skipped Tuesday and Wednesday, and did a baby 3 miles yesterday in the yucky humidity.  My half marathon is this Sunday, so I am skipping today (boo it's raining) and will run 4 miles tomorrow late afternoon if it's not pouring.

My weight was bearable yesterday - 136.6 after my run, but it's up today and I feel insanely fat and round and gross.  I skipped breakfast but had a mini-lunch-binge of two corn tortillas with vegan cheese, three mochi treats from the asian market, wasabi peas, a cookie, and a banana.  If I keep drinking tea and coffee for the rest of the day, I'll be a little happier.

It is my goal to just subsists on green tea and coffee for the rest of the evening.

I have class (biostatistics) from 7-10pm tonight.  Tomorrow, I am leaving bright and early to drive home to NJ.

Sorry this post is incredibly uninspired right now.  I hope everyone remembered to wish Mich a happy birthday - seems like a popular month around here, because I know a few of us have been celebrating.

I hope the weather clears up and the conditions are better for traveling tomorrow.  I may get to post tomorrow night, otherwise stop back on Sunday night or Monday for a race re-cap!  I have a huge project due on Tuesday and am driving back Monday/have class, and am working before my class in DC on Tuesday, so I doubt I will have time for a lengthy post and/or comments.

Bon weekend!

Blue

I had a rough day yesterday.

Friday was fine - basically uneventful, it rained in the morning, the sun finally came out, my roommate and I went to Trader Joe's and bonded a bit, she bought me a balloon, I decided to treat myself to veggie sushi for lunch, I baked cupcakes to take to my class and share with my roommates (only one for each roommate and me, and then I left the rest with me class - no leftovers to tempt me), I came home and my roommates surprised me with a bottle of chardonnay and crème de cassis for making kir, we had a few drinks and went out to a bar, I talked with a bunch of my roommate's friends (strangers) and then we came home.

Yesterday morning, I woke around 9:30 and went for a six-mile run.  Then, the loneliness just hit me.  Juan and I Skyped for a while and I tried to do homework in the sunshine that afternoon.  I ate the most random things, feeling disgusting and fat with each bite.  I watched some episodes of Mad Men and debated meeting up with my friends in DC.  I decided I just did not feel well enough for that.  Around 7, I ventured out to browse some shops, just so I was not spending my entire day in silence in my apartment.  I didn't buy anything, came home, and cried a bit more.  I love having the radio on in my apartment, but this week, all I keep hearing about is rain, flooding, earthquakes, power outages, fires, and of course the anniversary of 9.11.01.  Juan texted me to tell me he is excited to see me and kiss me - I respond that I feel fat and ugly and I can't have kisses.  Just not a good day.

I slept in again until 9:30.  I really do not feel like running, so, I will walk a bit today and run tomorrow when I get home from the Paul Farmer talk in DC (Has anyone ever read Mountains Beyond Mountains?  It is my favorite book, and the doctor in it is who I am going to hear speak tomorrow).  I am also going to begin a mini-detox à la Adeline.  I plan to have herbal tea and a small glass of juice for breakfast, green tea for lunch, and fruit and a salad with lemon juice for dinner.  That is the plan for this week (six-and-a-half days).  Juan is coming on Saturday and I made him promise last time that we would eat healthily the next time he visits.  Every time we get together we are eating out so much that I gain weight.

Thank you everyone for the lovely birthday wishes.  I wish I could have celebrated with you in person - I always end up celebrating with strangers, in accordance with out school calendar.  Every year in elementary school you have a new "homeroom," then middle school is a new batch, high school changes, you move to college, then abroad, then graduate school #1, and now #2.  Last year was the first in forever that I was able to celebrate my birthday with my truly good friends.  On Wednesday I am going to do a bit of birthday shopping, and I may try and find a pair of shoes today.  I have coupons for Anthropologie, Sur La Table, and DSW.  Obviously, on my graduate student budget, I have to be frugal, but at Anthro I want this lovely candle so much.  I was given a candle like this last August, it took me a year to burn it, and last September I bought a replacement with my discount.  I just started burning that one, but I want this bigger version in the pretty jar.

Sur La Table has wonderful kitchen things, so I may buy a new dish towel.  At DSW I will only buy something deeply discounted if I love it.  I was there last night, but I forgot my coupon.

Anyway, I am rambling.  My weight was up to 138 this morning, the highest I have recorded on this blog.  Last year, this time, I was 130-132.  I know I gained the weight by eating like a pig, but it still shocks me and makes me feel so unworthy of anything.  I am going to try and just get dressed and get my day started, take a walk, have some tea, and feel better.  We'll see how that goes.

Hopefully I can lose two or three pounds detoxing this week.  I would feel much better that way.  When Juan arrives, I need to stick to the plan I outlined in my last post and then I might finally be able to get under 130.

I'll get around to some commenting today.  I have been a bit better about it, but I still need to reply to a bunch of your lovely posts.

Please think about where you were ten years ago, today.  I do not personally know anyone who died as a result of the attacks, but I do know someone who escaped the towers and my father's crew went to man a firehouse in Manhattan.  Just the thought of it gives me chills, and I sincerely hope that these innocent and brave people did not die in vain.  While I believe in justice, I also believe in love.  More love and less hate is what this world truly needs.

Deep Breath

So the other day I was freaking out a bit.

I have been really good this week.  Over the past month of so, I had put on several pounds.  But this week, I have been exercising fervently (ran 5 miles on Sunday/Monday/Wednesday, took classes/ran 1-2 miles today and Tuesday) and eating less.  My weight, after the gym this morning was 133.4.  I know that if I keep myself on this roll, I will be under 130, possibly 125 by July 1, when I leave to meet Juan's family.

Oh, did I mention that??  I bought a plane ticket to California!

In other news, I have an interview tomorrow at the school where I have been coaching this season.  They have an opening in their admissions office, and had interviewed a bunch of candidates and nearly offered the job to someone.  Long story short, the headmaster was telling the other coaches that he wished I would be around next year to coach and one of them mentioned my plans to move to California ASAP.  I emailed the headmaster to let him know that even though I do plan to move eventually, if I am gainfully employed here for the next year before getting married, I would love to coach next spring.  In the end, they held off on offering that job to one of the candidates and I had a preliminary interview on Monday.  Tomorrow, I am going in for a day-long session of interviews  I am incredibly nervous, but also really hopeful about getting the position.  I don't know the salary, but it may allow me to move on campus and live with the students and save all of my money for moving/wedding/school in the future.  Juan keeps mentioning how excited he is to get married... I think the ring is really coming soon :)

I went shopping yesterday and bought two pairs of pants (skinny jeans and skinny cropped stretch pants) from the GAP both in a size 4.  I know the Gap, J Crew, Banana, etc. are all major vanity sizers and that I don't belong in a size 4, but it did make me feel good.  I want to get under 120 so I will wear a size 2.

Thank you to everyone who left me words of encouragement, it's exactly what I needed... Cinnamon, Dani, Ariana, Adeline, Cierra... and also thanks to those of you who are still reading and still following.  I'm in a much better position to get caught up on reading and commenting these days.

And I know I've been saying this for a while, but I am going to post progress pictures.  When I hit 129, I promise.

Another week has gone by

I don't really think I am that much closer to under 130 by the time Juan arrives.  I am still keeping up with my exercise - 6 days a week, running, weight and circuit training - but my restriction just isn't enough.

I had a little bit of a breakthrough today, though... I did not weigh myself before/after the gym/before eating for the first time in... years!  I hope that staying away from the scale today, hitting the gym for a good 500-calorie burning workout, drinking a ton of water and tea, and barely eating will reward me tomorrow.  The other day I was 131.4 after the gym, but I feel heavier than that now.  Hence why I must behave today.

For breakfast, I drank this super green smoothie (kale, o.j., soy milk, mango, banana, peaches, flax seeds, ice) and I ate a piece of the gluten free vegan biscotti I made last night - the whole recipe had barely any sugar in it, so I don't feel guilty.  I am going to the health food store, Starbucks, and to the camera shop to try and make a decision about the Olympus PEN E-PL1 I am considering.

Tomorrow is Easter, a great day!  I won't ruin it with chocolate (plus, what does chocolate have to do with Jesus rising from the dead anyway??) and I will go for my long run, 7-8 miles, weather permitting.

My mind feels stable and healthy today, which is wonderful.  That, combined with determination, is going to help me get to my goal of 118ish.  I know I can lose more than 15 pounds.

How is everyone?  I've been using Tumblr a bit over the past week, so I'm quite behind on reading and commenting.  I hope you're all enjoying your long weekends and making healthy choices.  Fruits, veggies, green tea, water and exercise lovelies...

And lastly, a little thinspo...

  

Feeling good

So yesterday was entirely boring and I was completely out of sorts.  I never went for my run and spent the entirety of the day moping around.  My eating was horrific, as a snacked on sweet popcorn and other unnecessary nonsense throughout the day.  I'm not sure what got into me, but I woke up feeling fresh and ready even with the grey skies outside.

I woke early to catch up on some blog reading (now I really need to get back to commenting) and went to church.  Since rain was in the forecast, I packed my gym bag in the car and went straight to the wellness center to pound out a few miles on the treadmill before running some errands for my mom.  I know I always run faster on the treadmill because of the aided momentum, but I still felt totally kick-ass when I finished 7 miles in a little less than an hour!  I've been eating healthy, low calorie food today as well - a Larabar for breakfast (200) and a big salad for lunch with my homemade light vinaigrette, a spoonful of hummus and lots of raw veggies (mushrooms, lettuce, carrots, tomatoes) with a serving of rice crackers on the side (120).  Even though my weight was embarrassingly high this morning, I know I worked hard at the gym and will keep my appetite under control today.  Tomorrow, I will weigh less.  I have to.

On Thursday, I forgot to mention, I met a friend for lunch and went to the optometrist (hooray, I have contacts which allow me to see now!!) at the mall.  I bummed around for a bit trying to be judicious with my money but track down a few things I have been seeking out for a while.  I managed to find a great black turtleneck at Express (size XS!) for only $15.00... excellent, considering I usually wear my black turtlenecks until they are faded to grey and have holes in them.  Additionally, I picked up the perfect black blazer at Ann Taylor (size 0! but only good with light layers underneath), something I have been searching for nearly a year to find.  J Crew, of course, tempted me with its sales and I found a snuggly army green mohair pullover (XS) and two tortoiseshell barrettes.  Finally, I bought myself Rouge Coco lipstick in Mademoiselle.  Completely extravagant, but my father asked me what I wanted for Christmas a while back, and that is what I asked for.  Apparently, he went to four different malls trying to track it down and was unable.  Instead, he agreed to pay for one of my front tires that needed replacing (still a proper Christmas gift!) and I came out of Christmas Chanel lipstick-less.  I have been dying for this lipstick for more than six months, so I treated myself.  I hope you all don't think I am terribly spoiled and materialistic.  I honestly don't shop in stores that often - I buy most of my clothes second-hand on ebay.  Now with my real adult financial responsibilities (car insurance, gym membership, student loans, cell phone, etc.) and a low paying job, I have to use and save my money wisely.

I think I am going to start knitting a baby sweater and bake bread and perhaps something to send to Juan.  I am feeling crafty and domestic today.  I love making things for people, honestly.  I love feeding people (ironic isn't it?) and it is a pure expression of my love.  Off I go to the kitchen.  I hope everyone has enjoyed their weekend.  Start 2011 off with love and cheer, please do not be so hard on yourselves my darlings.  You are all beautiful, I promise :)

A nice warm snuggly welcome to my newest followers - who would have ever thought 91 people would be bothering to read what I write!  Thank you :)

.........................................

I decided I am feeling very inspired to fast tomorrow.  I really need to get through a few good days of fasting in order to cleanse this holiday out of my system.  Tea, water, seltzer and a piece of fruit if I feel faint.  Anyone other takers?

Not much to say today

(I borrowed these photos from GreenWeddingShoes - it's a wedding planning blog that I read every day for aesthetic inspiration. These dresses/girls are too lovely)

The same again today - 127.6. Obviously better than gaining, but I've done quite well today so far, so I'm hoping I lose.

I did not run this morning because I slept in a bit and then went to the dentist. My dentist said my teeth looked very well taken care of :) Then, I helped touch up the paint in my brother's room.

Nothing else exciting is going on in my life... I put in a Sephora order - does that count? Haha I bought a bottle of Evian water spray, which I highly recommend, Josie Maran cream blush, two Smashbox eyeliners that were majorly on sale, and a Nars lipgloss and Bare Minerals eye shadow for my mom's stocking. My dad/brothers cannot be trusted with buying all of my mom's presents!

I also bought the most gorgeous La Perla lingerie on RueLaLa yesterday (it's a sample sale website, let me know if you are interested in signing up, because if I invite you, I think I get coupons if you actually make a purchase!) Totally unnecessary, but practical and to-die-for. I put that one on the credit card. I need to stop shopping - I have to buy both of my brothers' presents and a present for my best friend, Kendal. Otherwise my Christmas shopping is finished... alas, however, I need new front tires before the snow comes and I have three more graduate school applications to complete, in addition to dental work and returning to the optometrist.

My lovely new lingerie that I bought to wear for my honey when he arrives... Clearly I will not look like that, but I think it will be tastefully flattering and feminine.

I brought the new cat home last night. My mom has decided to call him Moses.

How is everyone? Alice D is having her wisdom teeth out today, I think - so send some good wishes and prayers her way.

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO ADELINE :-D SHE GOT IN TO LAW SCHOOOOOL!

I've been terrible about commenting lately, thank you so much for not abandoning me!

P.S. I finally watched the VS fashion show online the other night. Ridiculous. Seriously.

Way too kind

Thank you, my loveliest of lovely ladies for all of the kind words on yesterday's post. Everyone had such nice things to say and it warms my little heart :)

I am still a little down about hitting some kind of plateau here, because I keep fluctuating between 129.something and 130.something every day. Today, 130.6. Ugh. I think I am going to possibly adjust my goal weight day, if by the end of the week I am not down to 128.

No running today - it's raining, raining, raining. I actually feel pretty lousy anyway, because I have cramps, even though it's not the right time for that.

I had coffee and a rice cake with one tablespoon almond butter and a bit of jam (45+90+20+20 = 175) for breakfast. Then, I just made lunch, and decided to make it my dinner meal, so I had veggie/tofu fajitas. According to the package, if made with chicken, one two-tortilla serving is 340 calories. I am going to assume my tofu version was about that or less. So, that puts me at 515 so far for today. A good place to stop, I think.

Hmmmm, the sweater is nearly finished! I will take photos as soon as it is done, I promise.

I also bought a super sexy pair of boots today :) I have been eyeing them for ages and this morning a 20% off coupon popped into my email. I took it as a sign.

I might bake cupcakes today, for my family and brother. If so, I will have one, only one. I have to stop eating so much.

I took a few more photos this morning... should I put them up?

Holding steady

I have been 130.4 two days in a row. I want to keep losing, of course, but at least I know getting to 130 was not a fluke.

I skipped breakfast today, had a large mug of spiced hot cider (probably a lot of sugar calories), a roasted beet salad (no cheese or creamy dressing - just spinach, vinaigrette and a sprinkling of walnuts), two small slices of homemade soda bread (the nub of the loaf - legitimately small), and a small apple. I am drinking green tea chai with a splash of almond milk right now. I am hoping that this low calorie day will help me be even smaller tomorrow.

No run yesterday or today, I had errands to tend to with my mom, and I just did not get to it, unfortunately.

So, good news - I am making fabulous progress on Juan's sweater and I am completely psyched! I also signed up for a 5k on Thanksgiving, so now I have to make sure I can crank out 3.1 miles in way under 30 minutes. And, the most exciting thing so far... my clothes are obviously getting too big for me. Yesterday, my mom and I went shopping for a bit and I bought two pairs of pants. The jeans I bought from Banana Republic were a size 26/2R, and the corduroys from J Crew a 27 (which they equate to a 2). I also bought a gorgeous, but unnecessary, dress from J Crew in a 0, and it's even roomy. I am 100% sure both of these stores vanity size, because there is no way I would fit in a designer 4, let alone a 2, but pulling on those jeans made me so freaking happy yesterday. If you're wondering how that's even possible, remember, I am 5'7.5", 130ish pounds, and around a 34-25.5-36.5. I am aiming to lose at least another inch and a half from my waist.

Tonight, I am going out after work with my coworkers, so I am going to have one glass of wine. I have to be good, because I am going to bake cupcakes tomorrow and probably be out all day on Sunday, and I have to allot for extra calories.

I hope you are all thinking of the things you like about yourselves and that you have lovely weekends (unlike me, who has to work!)

Oh, one last thing - yesterday, Juan asked me, when I told him I needed new pants because my old ones didn't fit "You're not bulimic, are you?" (not that I haven't had my moments, but no, I'm not) AND my friend Erin asked, jokingly, when I told her the same thing (she asked me if my pants were new - we see each other every day, she'd notice that sort of thing) "Sarah, you don't have an eating disorder do you?" Kind of spooky.