Thank you all for being so incredibly nice to me

Thank you, everyone who commented or sent me kind thoughts, for being so nice to me.

This week was crazy and rough, and while I know I love Juan, I also know that he is never going to want to be with me.  And that is that, plain and simple.

What I have yet to share (until now) is that I am actually trying to see someone.  We work together and he is incredibly kind.  He has a lot of baggage (way more serious than mine) but is just so nice.  You would expect that he would be bitter and pretty angry with the world, but in fact he is just trying to atone for his past and make his future a lot better.  I really admire that.

I think he arrived at the right time for both of us, even though I've known him since I moved to school.  I am not sure what made him pursue me after all of this time nor what made me decide to let him in.  I really do not know.

I forgot how it feels to have someone be nice to me like that.  He knows I am in love with Juan and heartbroken over Popi.  And he knows I am moving in May and is not trying to start something super-serious.

I am just going to let him pursue me and see how it goes.  We went on a real date tonight and I did have a great time.  He makes me laugh, even if my heart and mind are often elsewhere.


I'll give a fuller explanation soon.  And a weight/food update... though I have lost a few pounds and that is a very good thing.

Teeny tiny update

I found out on Friday night that Juan is coming to visit me next week. He arrives Monday the eleventh. Saying I am shocked and nervous is the understatement of the century.

My friend is still missing, more than six weeks have gone by.

I have been running a bit, but not enough.

My weight is still out of control. I was steady at 135 yesterday but then I  had Korean noodles for dinner, which I thought were rice but turned out to be wheat. My tummy is all swollen today. Definitely plan to hydrate, not eat, and go for a stress-shaking run.

P.S. It's national (international?) running day, so lace up!

P.P.S. Many thanks for continuing to read and comment, dear friends. I'll update you next week.