Nouvelle Ans

I am trying to enjoy my last weeks of vacation time before school begins (for the last semester!) but I am still feeling very unsettled.  2013, you must be better than 2012.  Truly, you must.

So what good things have happened so far this year?  Well, my tattoo is basically healed - sorry I still do not have any photographs.  Maybe I can get some while I am away this weekend.  On that note, I am leaving Thursday morning to get a bit of sunshine in San Diego.  I am visiting some of my friends from when I lived there in 2009-2010.  It will be a short trip, but I am looking forward to the laid-back vibe in the city and just enjoying the sun.  (Eek I need to pack!) One of my resolutions this year is to have a 100-day running streak.  I have not run yet today, but today will be day 9.  It is an arbitrary goal, and obviously if I am very sick or injured, it will be over.  I am only running a little every day (some days just 2 miles) but it feels good to work toward a goal.

I have also been busy knitting and trying to get in some reading.  I am nearly finished with a sweater and need to tie up the loose ends of some other projects.  I am in the middle of By the River Piedra I Sat Down & Wept by Paulo Coelho.  After I finish that, I may begin one of his other books, but I also have High Fidelity (Thanks Cinnamon!!), Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, and Infections and Inequalities, in addition to a whole bunch of other books, waiting in the wings.

So the not so good news... the same problems continue to plague me.  I miss Popi, I miss Juan, and I am fat.  I think of Pauline every day, and it has been getting a little easier.  I still have such a difficult time processing the fact that she is no longer here, on this earth, walking around and spreading her joy to others.  As for Juan, he texted me a bit right around Christmas - we were both feeling nostalgic and all - and once on New Year's Eve, but I have not heard a peep since.  I am so hurt by that.  I will never understand how you can cut someone out of your life so easily.  I am not making overtures of any kind, honestly.  I just miss him and want to know how he is.  I still love him very, very much, and I probably will for, well, maybe forever.  It makes me crazy to think that I have no way to get in touch with him.

And then, as always, there is my horrific weight.  This time last year I was hovering around 130 pounds and feeling somewhat ok.  I wanted to lose more, be in the low 120s, high teens, but now I would be so grateful to have that back!  I am hovering between 139-141 every morning.  140, yes you read that right. 140.  Seeing or typing that number four instead of a three makes me a little mental.  Luckily I have been running again and cutting back on portions (I am a vegan and I honestly eat NO junk, how is it that I ever carry extra weight? I don't understand...) When I am visiting my friend, I am sure we will be busy out-and-about, so I anticipate many cups of coffee and tea.  That should help.  I have to get this under control.

How is everyone?  I hope your new year is getting off to a positive start.  For those of you in the southern hemisphere, those of us in the North would love for you to send some sunshine our way.

Oh, and I finally managed to fix the links at the top of my blog, linking to my Pinterest, Tumblr, and Etsy.  I also gave my tumblr a facelift the other day.

5 comments:

sofia said...

i hope you have a wonderful time in san diego! and congrats on the beginning of your running streak, i know you'll have many more. ive had a pretty good start to my year, but the stress from school is just starting to reinfiltrate my life, so we'll see how that goes. :P

stay lovely. <3

Bella said...

I hope you have a fabulous time in San Diego. We're having lots of really warm days, right in the middle of summer, so I'll send some warm sunshine vibes up North <3 I really hope 2013 turns out better for you.
xxBella

Aye Ell said...

Oh! The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is soooo good. It took me no time at all to read it.
I also read it at a time when I was culturing HeLa cells which made the whole process very moving. Knowing I was replicating the cells and DNA of this woman I was reading about was incredible.

ruby-tuesday said...

I'm glad that 2013 has gotten off to a good start for you even if you are struggling a a bit

Maybe because you are running you are storing more muscle, I don't know just a thought

I'm sure that you do miss Pauline, that must be so hard but hopefully the pain will ease over time, even if just a little

Have a wonderful time in San Diago

Be good to you x

Peridot (G+P) said...

*Hugs*

Focus on the good things, and know that you have the time to change the ones that bug you.

Joy in contagious, the joy she started spreading while still alive is still going around somewhere, passed from person to person.

Love you Dese. Hold on, ok?

*huggles*

 

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