I wrote this to Adeline last night, but figured I should share with everyone else as well...

Hello lovely,
 I'm not really in the mood to blog tonight but I just needed to vent a bit... might be going to the beach on Monday.  Crazy nervous, seeing as I will likely only be down to 136ish AFTER running tomorrow.  How do we let ourselves do this?  We have such good periods where it finally feels like we're getting skinny and our lives will be better, and then we lose all focus and gain some of it back.  I also had a job interview yesterday, and I'm awaiting the results of that now.  The nerves are starting to have a good effect and hopefully I won't eat much in the upcoming week.  I'm going to visit Juan soon and I just must get under 130.  I know how, and yet I'm not doing it.  Ugh.  Anyway, I hope all is well in your corner of the globe. I've been trying to keep up with you posts, you're doing really well with your new workout regime and diet in general.  How are things going with the Gentleman?  Reconciled?

Much love,

I hope everyone is having a good weekend... I am so lucky to have you all...


Dani said...

i wonder y i do this to myself all the time its the cuase ofmost of my freak out and panic attacks but really isnt really a reason for it its who we are we have this disease and as much as we hate it we cant let it go mental issues just fucking suck i would give nething to b nomral to b able to eat with out freaking out but since i havent been able to do that my hole life i doubt i can do that now

u prob rocked that interview i know u willl get teh job
love u hun stay strong

Cierra said...

I agree that it's mental issues. I was at my lowest weight, 127 in mid April. Then about 1 week later I shot up to 135 again. I think I'm in the low 130s right now, on vaca and haven't weighed myself. Some good restricting going on tho. It's just..I was so close, I was in the 120s, I was doing it. And then I just lose it for some reason. I don't know why.
Also, don't worry about the interview, you gots it!

Anonymous said...

Oh sweety, I'll write back to you now. I love you so much xx

Anonymous said...

That's exactly where I'm at right now.

Hopefully we can both find the strength to do this,
because our hard work means that we deserve better, no?

Peridot (G+P) said...

Hey gorgeous.

Sorry I've been AWOL, shit fell on me :(

I'm so excited to hear about the interview and going to meet Juan's family! *Happy dance*

Crossing my fingers and sending positive thoughts your way!


P.S. CAPCHA was 'cutter'. . . I think its on to me!

Sophie said...

Good luck with the interview! Let us know... :)
I have no doubts that Juan's family will *love* you and think you're gorgeous, like the rest of us do.

Cinnamon Brown said...

Thanks, Babe. I think my liver just needed a good cleaning! Homeopathics work well for that!

I admire your determination. A dairy/wheat free vegan lifestyle is quite a challenge or a great way to restrict, depending on your point of view! Damn food allergies! All I know is that the 10 years I was a vegetarian, were my fattest, sickest ones yet! I don't ever want to look/feel that way again!

Hope you have a great day! <3. XXX.


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