11 days

My weekend...

Well, Friday I woke up feeling very sluggish, grumpy, and just all around out-of-sorts.  I decided to take a rest day and ate ok, not great.  Saturday I was up at 4am to spend the day in the cold, rainy, windy weather at my kids' regatta.  They actually raced decently, considering there were 45mph gusts of wind and it was really cold.  I proceeded to binge on carbs all day (bagel, pretzels and other gluten-filled food) that made me feel like absolutely garbage.  My body really does not like gluten.  It makes me so sluggish.  As you can imagine, my body confidence is in the tank, having binged on Saturday and made cookies yesterday.  At least I made it out for a 7.65 mile run yesterday and a 3.6 mile run this morning.

I am eating much cleaner today... fruit salad for breakfast (strawberries, banana, green apple, mango, kiwi, and grapefruit doused in lemon juice), an odd salad for lunch (baby greens, 1/4 cup white beans, 2 pickle slices chopped, 4 kalamata olives chopped, and nearly a whole shredded carrot), mid-morning I had eight or so chocolate chips, but I decided after that I'd rather stick to only fruits and veggies (and maybe air-popped popcorn tonight) for the rest of the day.  My weight is far too embarrassing, but I am hoping by Wednesday (not tomorrow because I had salty pickles and olives on my salad that will obviously make me retain water) my weight will be down to a less shameful level.  I will be thrilled if I can get under 130.  I need to cut the crap and just work harder.

Tomorrow, I will run before my back-to-back classes.  I will stick to fruit and tea for breakfast and salads for lunch and dinner.  Maybe some pea soup if it's really cold and rainy.  I need to focus on my goals - you don't get anywhere without effort.  Whining does nothing.  If I want to be under 120 pounds, ultimately, then I have to work at it and get there.  No one else can do it for me.  And the only way I will get there is by eating healthy food in small amounts (under 1,000 calories a day like I did when I was super-determined in college) and exercising like a fiend.  Luckily, I do love to exercise.  Running makes me high and I love my class at the gym and lifting weights.  I have plenty of muscle, but no one can see it because it is hidden under layers of gross fat.  This week, I need to pick my three road races (5k/10k/half-marathon) and just register instead of procrastinating.  Juan and I keep talking about getting married, and I want to feel free and beautiful in my photographs, not ashamed of my ham-hock arms, double chin, and fat thighs.  I want to be beautiful and athletic and lithe for him.

Enough of my rambling, thank you all for putting up with it... I hope everyone is having a good Monday.

I am really starting to like Tumblr, by the way... feel free to follow me if you are into that...


mags said...

You're very determined! As am I. That fruit salad sounds delicious (:

Peridot (G+P) said...

I'm glad your kids did well in those crazy conditions :D Woop woop!

I may have to steal your fruit salad recipie ^.^ It sounds incredibly delicious.


Did you? o.O

Ugh, there are times when i almost look foward to getting Fresher Flu, coz when I have it swallowing hurts too much >.< Maybe getting your tongue pierced would help? Its bloody hard to eat while its swollen, lol!

I hope you're having a good week <3

Eeshie said...

Can I have a bit of that fruit salad? My lips are watering...

Peas out. :P

Dani said...

idk how u were outside on sat if ur weather was nething like my weather idk how u did it
ur salads sound yummy

Mich said...

Those carb binges are sucky, but it's behind you now! And you're so good with your running--you definitely made up for it. :D

Hope you had a good week. <3


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