The world is upside down

When I last posted in July, I was going on and on about postpartum life. I hardly remember if I had ever even mentioned the fact that my mom was ill.

In November 2017, my mom discovered that she had cholangeocarcinoma (bile duct cancer). The nature of this cancer is that it is always terminal. It's just a question of when.

Well, after a little less than two years of horrendous chemotherapy, another cross-country move, and then months loving on her first and only grandbaby, my mom died... two weeks to the day after we had our "last hurrah" trip to Paris together.

My mom wasn't perfect, but all in all, we had a great relationship. Even though my dad is left behind, I feel orphaned.

This huge thing happened, but the world literally keeps on turning and you have no choice but to go through the motions and continue.

I'm not sure what else to say other than I am incredibly sad and hurting. And even though I choose to believe she is in a better afterlife, I wish people would stop telling me "she's in a better place." Yes, I agree in principle, but I still want her here... with me... you know?