Reeling

So a lot has changed and will continue to change in the next two weeks.

I graduated with my masters and moved out of my apartment on Sunday after finishing the Color Run with my friend.  I said tearful goodbyes to my roommates and Allan.  Not exactly sure where we stand, so I am trying to just let it be.

I had my wisdom teeth out on Tuesday and still feel pretty rough.  I have yet to take a single pain pill, but continuously have ice strapped to my face.

In less than two weeks, I have to organize my apartment's-worth of belongings and pack for the next three months.  Visit and say goodbye to my friends here in my hometown, and finally, escape.

So what, besides my horribly swollen face, is plaguing me?

I am terribly huge.  Honestly.  Truly.  My mother said my face is round.  She told me that I am eating out of boredom.  And to make matters worse, I cannot exercise - in fact, I can hardly move or it induces swelling.  I have to eat something in order to take the antibiotics.

I hope I can finally get all of the stress in my life under control for once.  Allan is wonderful, but I don't know what is going to happen to us, which makes me sad and stressed. He insists I am still hung up on Juan, which stresses me out.  Then, there was just the past several weeks of school.  My teeth.  Moving.  Packing.  Pauline.  I don't know.  The stress is making me heavier, that's for sure.  Once I touch down in France, and am sure I will feel much more at ease, even if I am still emotionally reeling.  Or at least I hope so.

Ok, now I am just rambling on about the same old, same old.

I need to stop eating.  If not altogether, than surely not so much.  I can't take it anymore.  I know it's a horrible attitude.  I know it's not healthy.  And truly most of that is just in my head, not in my actions, so don't be too concerned.