Reeling

So a lot has changed and will continue to change in the next two weeks.

I graduated with my masters and moved out of my apartment on Sunday after finishing the Color Run with my friend.  I said tearful goodbyes to my roommates and Allan.  Not exactly sure where we stand, so I am trying to just let it be.

I had my wisdom teeth out on Tuesday and still feel pretty rough.  I have yet to take a single pain pill, but continuously have ice strapped to my face.

In less than two weeks, I have to organize my apartment's-worth of belongings and pack for the next three months.  Visit and say goodbye to my friends here in my hometown, and finally, escape.

So what, besides my horribly swollen face, is plaguing me?

I am terribly huge.  Honestly.  Truly.  My mother said my face is round.  She told me that I am eating out of boredom.  And to make matters worse, I cannot exercise - in fact, I can hardly move or it induces swelling.  I have to eat something in order to take the antibiotics.

I hope I can finally get all of the stress in my life under control for once.  Allan is wonderful, but I don't know what is going to happen to us, which makes me sad and stressed. He insists I am still hung up on Juan, which stresses me out.  Then, there was just the past several weeks of school.  My teeth.  Moving.  Packing.  Pauline.  I don't know.  The stress is making me heavier, that's for sure.  Once I touch down in France, and am sure I will feel much more at ease, even if I am still emotionally reeling.  Or at least I hope so.

Ok, now I am just rambling on about the same old, same old.

I need to stop eating.  If not altogether, than surely not so much.  I can't take it anymore.  I know it's a horrible attitude.  I know it's not healthy.  And truly most of that is just in my head, not in my actions, so don't be too concerned.

6 comments:

Miranda said...

What a wonderful, exciting time in your life. Despite all the stress that can go along with all that change. Hope your teeth feel better soon. Hope we both find that balance on eating that we need in order to feel good about ourselves. BTW-Cosmos is my fav place to go write now. I've been there several times since you helped me to discover it.

PrettyLies said...

I don't blame you hon. If I was graduating, moving, saying goodbye to people...well, technically I was doing that 2 years ago, but still, it's a mjor stress zone. What are you doing in Paris, and you'll be there all summer? That's exciting, at least it's something new. I know how much you love France, hopefully it will be a good time. But congratulations on graduating!!!!!!!!!! A lot of my friends graduated and I'm going to miss them a lot, but it happens to everyone, I hope the transition doesn't take too much out of you. Love you dear, remember to breathe.

Peridot (G+P) said...

Woot! Masters! :D Massive congratulations to you, Dese! :D

I love you so very much and I hope you can get the stressors under control very soon.

Best of luck for the next few weeks. Safe flying and I hope you have as good a time as you can in France.

*Hugs you tightly*

AVY said...

Take care of yourself. Change is good, it means you can do whatever you want, even start over. Easier said than done, but still. Congrats on the Masters.

/Avy

http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

annamaria said...

thank you for your lovely comment!
I am from Greece, honey, but I have a very special place in my heart for Italy. I don't think I could advice you though...
have a lovely holiday over there! I'm getting jealous :)

xx,
annamaria

ruby-tuesday said...

I hope you see this sweetie
I just wanted to thank you so much for your beautiful postcard
It truly made my day that you thought of me

I hope you are enjoying Paris and being good to yourself
You deserve to have a good time

I'll look forward to hearing from you soon

Much much love x

 

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