Thank you, everyone who commented or sent me kind thoughts, for being so nice to me.
This week was crazy and rough, and while I know I love Juan, I also know that he is never going to want to be with me. And that is that, plain and simple.
What I have yet to share (until now) is that I am actually trying to see someone. We work together and he is incredibly kind. He has a lot of baggage (way more serious than mine) but is just so nice. You would expect that he would be bitter and pretty angry with the world, but in fact he is just trying to atone for his past and make his future a lot better. I really admire that.
I think he arrived at the right time for both of us, even though I've known him since I moved to school. I am not sure what made him pursue me after all of this time nor what made me decide to let him in. I really do not know.
I forgot how it feels to have someone be nice to me like that. He knows I am in love with Juan and heartbroken over Popi. And he knows I am moving in May and is not trying to start something super-serious.
I am just going to let him pursue me and see how it goes. We went on a real date tonight and I did have a great time. He makes me laugh, even if my heart and mind are often elsewhere.
I'll give a fuller explanation soon. And a weight/food update... though I have lost a few pounds and that is a very good thing.
Moi
- désespérée de maigrir
- I hate: my weight. I love: being a vegetarian, France, tulips & poppies, anything by Paul Coehlo, baby animals, gin, knitting, dresses, kirs, cake decorating, Johnny Swim & Matt Nathanson, running, Casablanca, my best friends and family, and an amazing French man who makes everything in this world so much easier to take on
4 comments:
What big news! Congrats :) I'm glad you're finding some happiness. I'm really glad you're both being honest about it all and just enjoying your time together. Take care xxx
There will always be a part of you that cares for him. Over time it will become easier to live with and you will be able to move on. I'm hoping he doesn't turn around in a few months and start jerking you around all over again. Once a manipulative cheater, always a manipulative cheater.
I hope you two find some happiness together and you can get over Juan. Dickbag ain't worth your time, new bloke may be.
Love you so much Dese <3
I'm glad that despite everything you had a good time last night.
Thinking of you xxx
Whether or not it's the real thing or a rebound relationship I think it's a good thing. Be honest with him and see what happens. I really think the distraction will be good for you.
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