Today, I woke up around four-thirty and was out the door by five in order to get in my fourteen miles. This is the furthest I have ever run in my life, seeing as prior to today, the longest run I had completed was my half-marathon last September (13.1 miles). I was very nervous about having enough water, my knees hurting, being alone for all that time, and a million other things, but honestly, it was great. I was a bit slow for the first five miles, and between five and seven, I had terrible stomach cramps. Then, I saw my turn-around point, and felt so relieved! I ate my gel, took a big drink of water, and actually picked up the pace for the second half of the run, managing to finish in 2:11:34, which is pretty respectable, I think. I went to bed after taking my shower, and slept another four hours. Amazingly, I have not felt guilty about eating in the slightest today (that run burned approximately 1300 calories), so hopefully tomorrow I will not have gained.
Other than running, I am making progress on a sweater I am knitting. I am excited to be finished and wear it. It's a little yellow blouse-type sweater. Maybe I'll get some photos when I finish it. I have some other projects I need to work on, including something I promised Peri ages ago, and something for Jeanne, since she sent my adorable slippers and mitts once-upon-a-time.
Unfortunately, even though the week was very busy, I did not manage to escape unscathed from some more bad news. This week, my mom was diagnosed with MS. Truly, my knowledge of MS is limited, and I think I am in denial about it. They originally thought she might have a tumor deep inside her brain, which would have been inoperable, so in comparison to that, it seems like a blessing. But, I know that while people with MS typically live quite healthily most of the time, when they get sick and sicker, it can be terrible. I am not entirely sure how to handle it, but I am going home to my parents' house on the 26th and am just looking forward to hugging my mom. I need to read up about dietary changes and alternative therapies so we can have all sorts of tools in our arsenal.
Even with all of this training, I am feeling much too heavy. I don't think I have gained "real" weight, but perhaps a combination of my muscles being sore and retaining water, gaining muscle mass, and trying to stay hydrated is leaving my around 137 each morning. I just wish, wish, wish I could wake up and see 127. I know it obvious involves a lot of hard work and dedication to lose weight, and I am capable of it, but it seems not to happen. I never thought, after this winter, that I would be this heavy again.
Thank you to everyone who left me such sweet comments on my last few posts. I really appreciate all of your kind words, encouragement, and support.
Oh, I meant to share this before I hit publish, I wish I felt this way and believed these things - a truly beautiful message:
6 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. MS effects everyone different so don't get too frustrated just yet. Lots of love
I'm really sorry to hear about your mom, sweetie. I don't know much about MS either, but I hope it doesn't get too serious and something can be done to help her get better.
On another note, I really liked the video you posted. Some people have tried to do those "It's your body, love and accept it" things, but I feel like they just say suck it up and accept yourself. These women realized it's hard and that they were self conscious, but they got around it. That's my biggest dream right now, to love myself.
I love ya, and damn 14 miles is amazing. I can't even imagine having all the strength and motivation to do that, so be proud of yourself on that one.
It's official: Runners are totally fucking insane :p
All my projects for me seem to get pushed to the side with things for others. I can't wait to see your jersey! Keep Calm and Cast On!
Wait, you're knitting something for me! No! Finish the damn jersey first! I keep meaning and forgetting to ask you what your favourite colour is. What is it? Please enlighten me, it's vital information!
Fuck, MS? Really? D: *Hugs you all*
That video was AWESOME.
"You can't buy confidence, it's not something you can just go into a store and pick up" Holy shit this relates EXACTLY to a conversation I had with Kirk at work today about women and makeup and dressing up. His sister dress up to impress others and feels uncomfortable, I dress up to make myself feel awesome. The confidence that came from feeling comfortable got me more guys than high heels and short skirts! (Trousers and boots FTW)
I'm sorry to make you worry. The harming is not a primary coping strategy, thank goodness. It's more of a last resort when all other methods have failed. At this point I don't think there is much anyone else can do. I'll muddle through somehow. I'm a stubborn little bitch.
Lots of love you to and your family and good vibes to your Mum <3
Sorry about your mom. That must be very scary. Hopefully, the doctors can manage the illness so she'll be one of the ones to live long and healthy despite it. Congrats on the longer run! Amazing.
ugh. MS sucks. but she should be okay. i think doctors know a bit more about it, just enough.
that's one hell of a run. fourteen miles. that's...pretty cool actually, haha. vegan power! *high five*
and don't worry, you'll reach your goal in time. <3 keep your chin up!
Sorry to hear about your mother! I don't know much about it...but hopefully she'll be ok :) I can't believe what an amazing runner you are! I've always been in awe of your dedication and stamina. I can hardly jog/run for a mile, let alone 14! I have no idea how to even get to that point, but i commend you for doing something so amazing. You should show us a picture of your sweater!
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