Broken record

I am sorry it has taken me a little while to write another update.  Though it's hardly a valid excuse, I am incredibly busy right now.  School began again, and I am collecting data for two different research projects for my assistantship.  In addition to my assistantship and nine hours per week at the law firm, I began working at the local yarn shop this week too (eight hours, but I think normally I'll be working six).

I squeezed in a few runs this week, last weekend I ran 10.5 on Saturday, then took a few days off due to my schedule/lack of motivation.  I only ran 4.5 on Thursday and now it's Saturday again and I have not run.  Maybe I will find the time tomorrow, but tonight I am babysitting until quite late, have to attend a church service in the morning to hand out some surveys, and my friends are coming over for dinner at 6:30.  In between all of that, I have a study design and policy analysis to complete, among other assignments.  It's funny, because when I am in the midst of doing all of these things, it really does not seem so overwhelming - but when I write it down, it seems a little crazy.

I am still trying to sneak in some knitting time - I am finishing my brother's scarf, I need to complete an embroidery project this week too, and then I have things to knit for my Etsy shop (it's empty right now but it will be filled with cowls soon!), surprises for PeriMich & Jéanne (among all of the other lovely bloggers I would love to knit for too), and for Lulu's sweet daughter (among about seven or eight additional projects).

My weight this morning was 132.8 - I am working hard on getting back to <130.  I did so well for a while - even through the holidays, but lately I have been waking up around 133.  I am sure that taking yet another rest day will be shooting myself in the foot, weight-wise.  Tomorrow, I am going to try and sneak in a short run in the morning.  A few more during the week, and then my 10-mile race is on Sunday the 1st.

Fortunately, (well, really unfortunately), I cannot go grocery shopping again for a few weeks.  I need to pay off the small balance on my credit card and then it will be time for rent/utilities/car/renter's insurance again.  I am really lucky that I have these few part-time jobs that allow me a little cushion for luxuries like a hair cut, or sending packages to my friends, or buying yarn.  Next month will be the first in six months that I will finally be able to put a little money away.  And, my mom told me I am getting money back for my tax return - this is a great relief, since I literally live paycheck-to-paycheck and on student loans, and if I ever needed emergency money (like if something happens to my car), I will either have to beg my parents or be up the creek.  My parents are very generous - they still let me remain on their health insurance and handle the cel-phone policy (I pay for my own line, but it's much cheaper being on their plan than by myself).  My grandmother sends me a little money each month with instructions to "buy vegetables."  I have to be grateful for what I have, because I know many people have much less and get by.

So, I suppose I am leaving this post in the same place I have been for a while - busy, feeling fat and physically incompetent, emotionally tired, and trying to be hopeful that I can handle all of the work, run further, faster, and finally see the scale tick down under 120, and somehow find peace.  I am a broken record.


Peridot (G+P) said...

Love you <3

Jéanne said...

Wow, you're so busy! I'm proud of you for soldiering on and keeping busy. It's so awesome that you work for a yarn shop! I can't wait to see all your knitting! I have a present for you. I'll try to send it soon-soon. Love you, Sweet Pea. :)

Mich said...

Well you're certainly keeping yourself very busy! It's a good distraction, though.

Hope all is well. xoxo


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