I honestly have not really attempted any sort of organized diet or conscious effort to curb my absurd eating habits in over a year.
But I guess the glow of my newly-wedded life might be fading now and I am tired of feeling heavy and round and out of shape.
In my defense, I am still rather active - I run one average twice a week and am usually going to the gym another two times. But when you compare that to my super-health-conscious, pre-Benjamin life, it's pathetic. From 2011 to 2013, I ran on average six days a week. Now, because I am heavier and out of shape, even twice a week seems like a burden.
And then there's the issue of my closet. I am terrified to bring out last year's spring and summer clothes only to discover that nothing fits. Can I just keep wearing sweaters all summer?
So this week I am taking some initiative. My husband is away in South Africa (any tips, Piggy? He's in Cape Town!) until Sunday. I have no social commitments at all this week. So today I am shooting for under 1,000 calories and I will definitely go to the gym. Tomorrow is supposed to be lovely, so I should have a repeat low-calorie day and I feel encouraged to get outside for run and enjoy the good weather. All of that can easily continue until Friday. I think it's going to rain and I am babysitting... so unless I can be super motivated to wake up early, I'll have to skip the running/gym altogether and make up for it on Saturday. I know we are having pizza for lunch on Sunday for my friend's birthday - I can get away with two small slices and salad for dinner.
I have my overdue annual exam with my OB/GYN scheduled for the first week of April. I MUST lose weight by then. Ideally, I want to be 140, but I think realistically I can reach 145 (a number, that as I type it, makes me absolutely cringe. There was a long time when I swore up and down that I would never, ever, ever be over 140... UGH). I am also going to make a more conscious effort to eat mostly vegan. Dairy products and eggs have really crept back into my life (that's what you get for marrying a Frenchie) and while I think its ok to eat them in moderation, I would like them to be more like seasoning, instead of star players. And finally, I am going to reinforce my "no alcohol during the week" and add "no restaurant/non home-made food during the week." In addition to it saving calories, we can also save some money (which is important since we are in the midst of buying our first home!). There really is no reason for us to go out during the week, since my husband travels approximately two weeks out of the month and also could use some good, healthy food when he's home. Mainly, I need to be more organized with meal planning to accomplish this. So when he is here, I can at the very least control the ingredients and portion sizes, since meal-skipping is not really an option (and isn't a good option to begin with).
I know that is not a very solid plan, but it is a good start, no?
Part of the reasoning is that I am quite ashamed of my body and what has happened to it. But there is also a large part that knows that gaining weight is not good for me at its core. I am not striving to be underweight or to starve myself. I just know that sensible "dieting" never works for me. In order to lose weight, I need to take more drastic measures. I am sure this must sound familiar for some of you, no? Calorie counting/hyper caffeination begins again today.