Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on your perspective), I have managed to mostly maintain my cool through this stress and not resort to restriction and self loathing. My weight hasn't budged a bit, which makes me horribly sad, but it's good that it's not consuming my life. I know already that I am nervous about eating around Benjamin day in and day out. I don't eat like most people and I'm nervous to adapt. If I was smarter, I would have tried to adapt already. I would have been eating much less and simply square meals these past few months. If I had done that, I'm sure my wedding dress would be loose and I would, at the very least, feel more comfortable in my body.
On the upside of all this, in preparation for my best friend's wedding in October, three of us (including the bride) started Insanity at the beginning of the month. I've done it before (and was in the best shape of my life, at the same time I started dating Benjamin) and so far, so good. It has only been two weeks, but maybe it will change something.
I am trying to enjoy the last bit of summer. I haven't taken advantage of it, honestly. I spend most of my time indoors instead of out on the patio enjoying a glass of rosé. I suppose buying a new car might count? I managed to find and afford an adorable red Fiat. It isn't often that I do anything simply for pleasure... This was the closest I'll get, since it was mostly for fun with a healthy dose of practicality thrown in.
My next post might not be for a bit (not that I post very often anyway). I hope you are all well, or at least stable.