One week to go

My husband is arriving a week from tomorrow. I still find it odd to call him my "husband." And it's stranger still to realize that my days alone in my little house are over. Surely, I am looking forwar to it, but it is still a strange prospect. I've been living independently for some time. On top of that, I have never shared a bedroom or been in close quarters with anyone for ore than a few months. I suppose it's equally scary and exciting.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on your perspective), I have managed to mostly maintain my cool through this stress and not resort to restriction and self loathing. My weight hasn't budged a bit, which makes me horribly sad, but it's good that it's not consuming my life. I know already that I am nervous about eating around Benjamin day in and day out. I don't eat like most people and I'm nervous to adapt. If I was smarter, I would have tried to adapt already. I would have been eating much less and simply square meals these past few months. If I had done that, I'm sure my wedding dress would be loose and I would, at the very least, feel more comfortable in my body.

On the upside of all this, in preparation for my best friend's wedding in October, three of us (including the bride) started Insanity at the beginning of the month. I've done it before (and was in the best shape of my life, at the same time I started dating Benjamin) and so far, so good. It has only been two weeks, but maybe it will change something.

I am trying to enjoy the last bit of summer. I haven't taken advantage of it, honestly. I spend most of my time indoors instead of out on the patio enjoying a glass of rosé. I suppose buying a new car might count? I managed to find and afford an adorable red Fiat. It isn't often that I do anything simply for pleasure... This was the closest I'll get, since it was mostly for fun with a healthy dose of practicality thrown in.

My next post might not be for a bit (not that I post very often anyway). I hope you are all well, or at least stable. 


cursum perficio said...

How exciting! My fiancé and I have lived together for eight, or is it nine, years now, so when we get married it won't be much of a transition :P

Mich said...

So exciting!!! Hope you two have some nice things planned for the end of the summer.

My brother and I will be at Weyerbacher this Saturday afternoon.....

Bella said...

Is this the permanent move? How exciting! Goodness, we're down to a matter of days now!

I can just picture you cruising the countryside in a little red Fiat. Maybe a little road trip with the husband might be on the cards?

And I got your email! I can't wait to see what warm wooly goodness you've got in store :)


Ṣαᵯ ȽuРіῄ│ said...

i've just read your whole blog all in one go. i've been following for a while, but not really "following" i.e. your posts, so i'm hoping to be more active.

"I have managed to mostly maintain my cool through this stress and not resort to restriction and self loathing" which is good, honestly. you don't need to harm yourself. you've never done anything wrong. you wouldn't starve a child. you wouldn't starve a dog. you wouldn't starve anyone regardless of their weight. so why the hell would you starve yourself? it's always easy to think: oh, if a loved one wasn't eating, i'd want them to eat. you are not an exception. you need to eat. you should eat. and you should enjoy what you're eating, little apple.

you are a runner. your body deserves the fuel. you body deserves to compensate for the days where you hadn't offered it the things that it deserved. our bodies are amazing. most girls in recovery MAINTAIN their weight on 2,500-3,000 at some point because their body is so depleted out of nutrients. even i, whom is attempting to recover from things on more of a bulimic spectrum, had been able to maintain on 2,500 for months on end after gaining a lot in one go (gained 10lbs, then maintained for half a year on that amount).

i hope you're enjoying exercise as should be. exercise should make you feel good.

agreed with Bella on the picturing you cruising the countryside in a little red Fiat. <3

-Sam Lupin

AVY said...

To able to call someone husband. Terrifying and beautiful. You'll do just fine, I know it.

/ Avy

Jenn said...

So much love to you and so many blessings to your new married life! How exciting. I love to hear about it so keep up with your check ins

Love, jenn

Mich said...

How are things, m'lady? haven't heard from you in a while...


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