Same old, same old

My tendinitis has completely subsided, thank goodness.  I put in 12 solid miles yesterday, and my coach adjusted my schedule for the remaining weeks.  I was supposed to run 6 this morning with 10 strides at the end, but I did not fall asleep until midnight or so, so waking up at six this morning was not working.  I have to work until seven tonight, but I will go when I get home from work.  It actually works out, because I have to do 9 tomorrow, and have a conference call at 8:30 - meaning, I would have to be up quite early in order to run, shower and get ready for work, and be ready by 8:30 and off to work by 9:30.

That is about the only thing I am feeling good about right now.  I am SO incredibly discouraged about my weight.  I know I am a total broken record, but I think the pressure is finally building enough (especially with the beginning of the new school year looming right around the corner) that I will do something about it.  I had a very light breakfast of a little yogurt and melon this morning, and am packing rice with zucchini/edamame/red peppers, a sweet potato, kiwi, and plums for the rest of the day while I am out.  I do not have to move around much at my afternoon job, so I am sure I will have enough energy.  When I get home from work, I will have a quick snack of a few almonds, and then set out on my run.  As long as I stay hydrated and have a bit of caffeine, I should be fine.  If I continue with that every day, I should be able to lose a bit this week and for the rest of the time before the marathon.  Even with the protein smoothies I have been drinking on long run days, I should still be able to lose.  I need to lose.  I am at an embarrassing weight just on the cusp of my absolute limit.  Does anyone know a magic trick that would allow me to lose fifteen pounds overnight????

Last week was a trying week with Juan (again, broken record much?) - I had it out with him on Wednesday, which I absolutely hate.  He just has been wavering between treating me like his girlfriend and ignoring me, and I finally decided to try and get him to pick one or the other.  I am glad I said all the things I said, but I hate getting so upset and exasperated.  In the days following, he has been the kind of guy I know he can be.  I feel better about it, in general, but he has still managed to avoid just making a choice.  I will give it a few more days, ask again, and see what happens.  I get the impression that he does want to be together again, honestly, but I do not want him to just slip back into it.  I want him to tell me that this is his choice and that he will commit to this.  Under normal circumstances, it might be fine for two people to come together organically and without titles and official conversations, but as most of you know, he needs to regain my trust and make a true commitment to me.

Ah, I am going to be late for babysitting... not sure I have too much to say anyway.  If you have not popped over to Peri's blog, she made a hilarious video where she opened the package I sent.  You can see the adorable kiwi if you watch it.

Thank you all, immensely, from the bottom of my little heart, for reading and listening and giving me encouragement and love.  What would we do without each other?

6 comments:

ruby-tuesday said...

Oh I wish I knew how to magically drop 15 lbs.
I have regained some weight recently although I know I needed to.
But I am afraid the weight will continue to rise and I will have no control over it at all.
I am trying so very hard not to let the numbers on a scale dictate my life.

Hang in there girl, you are doing so well and I'm so impressed with how much you run.

Much love x

A Quiet Battle said...

Your running schedule is INTENSE! I don't know how you do it. And trust me, if I knew how to drop 15 overnight, I'd have done it long ago.

Sorry things are weird with Juan again. Men can be so frustrating. I simply don't understand them.

Miranda said...

You are awesome. Even if the numbers don't reflect it I know the running has to be doing your body good. It's so hard to escape that darn number though. I totally get it. As for Juan-it's really not supposed to be THAT hard. Hopefully getting a little tough with him will shape him up.

K said...

Seriously... What WOULD we do without each other?? You run so much... I can't imagine that you could weigh anything!!!

Jenn said...

I LOVE the community in this blogosphere. I love you too and what WOULD we all do without each other. SO many BIG hearts to you and everyone else reading this.
xoxo

Peridot (G+P) said...

YAY TENDINITIS IS GONE! :D

I know how to drop 15lbs overnight. . . amputation! Lol, I had to say it. I read far too many Garfield comics for my own good!

I completely understand, though. In April I was unable to leave the house because I was 6kg over the upper limit of where I feel comfortable, and now I'm just skirting the kilo above it. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK HURRY UUUUUP!!!1!

Juan can't have his cake and eat it too. He has to man up and make a fucking choice. You're too good to be dicked around.

Lol, I'm glad you liked the video. I still can't believe I spent fully half of it making the kiwi dance and twitching like an over-caffinated spazzmachine D: What the fuck??

Love you so very much. Take care and train smart and remember that with this amount of exercise you WILL lose a decent amount of weight if you keep your body stoked with enough fuel to keep it moving without freaking it out.

Arohanui <3

 

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