A little food philosophy

I had a weird day yesterday.  Woke up with a headache and just felt yucky, so I decided to take a rest day and bake instead.  Even though I had class in the afternoon, I was practically a zombie all day and just could not get in the groove to do any schoolwork.

I was something like 134.2 when I woke up.  This morning, I was a bit heavier, since I had wheat yesterday (bad decision, of course).  I was 134.6 after my run, meaning probably 135.6.  I obviously do not want to gain, but I'm happy to not be above 136.  I am shooting for 129 by Thanksgiving.  Not only have I kept up with my running regimen (8 miles Saturday, 4.5 Sunday, 6.5 today) but I am basically broke (oh the life of a graduate student!) and I just cannot afford to go to the grocery store until pay day.  Luckily, Trader Joe's has relatively cheap produce - as does the Asian market near my house.  I have to restock my fridge with produce and that is really about it.  Practically all I eat is fresh or frozen vegetables and fruit.  I have been working very hard on limiting how often I have nuts, they are just simply too high in calories.

For example, last night, I had chickpeas with tomato sauce over spinach and kale.  I also had a piece of the brownies I made yesterday morning, which is not worth it.  I used to tell the kids that I coached that think of food as fuel, and as your body as a Porsche.  "Premium fuel in the tank" was my tagline.  Basically, while I know I have to eat at least something to sustain my athletic activity (which I love - and I will not give up running for anything) and basic brain function, even while trying to lose every last bit of fat on my body, when I eat, it should only be food that serves a nourishing purpose.  Chocolate, beer, sweets, bread, etc. is not nourishing me.  Vegetables, legumes, fruit, nuts, tofu, rice, quinoa, seaweed, etc. are nourishing, low calories, highly nutrient-dense foods.  The worst thing I put in my body on a regular basis is coffee - which I have about every other day, with soy milk.  Otherwise, I drink water, tea, and the occasional coconut water or juice.  I do enjoy having these foods, even sometimes having large quantities, because I know my body is using every last bit in a good way.  My greatest, yet rare, indulgence is a glass of wine or a cocktail.  I think the last time I even had a glass was when Juan visited, in September.

I am really starting to ramble on now.  Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that my struggles with food/exercise/my body are different from those of an anorexic or bulimic, though I admit thinking about what goes into my body and my physical activity takes up a good 50-60% of my thoughts.  I try to limit my intake in terms of calories and to only the healthiest foods so I do not have to feel guilty and make up for it with extra exercise.  I would rather just run several miles every morning to get fresh air and the rush of endorphins.  Yet, I look in the mirror every day and cannot believe how I look bigger every day, never smaller.  I must hover somewhere between BDD/Orthorexia/EDNOS.  Who knows.  I am certainly not too thin (135 pounds at 5'7.5" is no where near too thin.  I want to be 120, the lowest healthy BMI for my height), though I would love to be just on the edge and have people telling me that I am.  I want to be lean so that I can run faster - so even if I am small, I have to retain my muscles.  You can be delicate looking and strong.

Again, enough with my rambling.

Have a lovely day everyone and welcome to my newest subscribers!

8 comments:

Miranda, AKA Fed Up said...

I know that candy and sweets are not the fuel my body needs but its just sooo hard not to eat them ever. Sounds like you do a pretty good job thinking of food in that way more often. I know I need to do the same.

Jenn said...

Sounds like our goals are pretty much EXACTLY the same. Very trim/athletic. Borderline concern from people. perfect :-)

Mich said...

I wish I had your devotion to healthy eating! I try, but I so easily give in to junk and then refuse to eat anything else because I've already eaten too many cals. :/

Hope you're having a good week, pretty lady! <3

Alex said...

Alex says thank you for commenting on her last post. She feels truely blessed to have you as a reader and that you attempted to console her in her darkest hour. thank you xx

A Quiet Battle said...

I really like your food philosophy. I really try to eat that way, too... but my binge episodes probably negate all the good I try to do.

When I'm being good, it's all fruits, veggies, tofu, oatmeal, almond butter...

When I'm bad, well... it's cooooookies! Oh, and coconut milk ice cream.

tokillthismockingbird said...

I'm starting to lean more and more towards healthier food and exercise as I get older and my body gets weaker. I'm 1/4 of an inch away from 5'7, 120lbs and I look disgusting because of lack of exercise. Maybe you look bigger because your muscles are bulking from the running? Either way, it sounds like you're doing a good job, so keep it up!

K said...

Thanks for the comment!! It's always a great way to ind new favorite blogs :)

May Berry said...

Thank you so much, I was just about to binge when I stumbled upon your blog ^_^

You've made feel completely motivated now and I hope you start seeing the results soon, you're obviously putting in the work

 

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