Sorry for being lost for a while

So it's been a while... two weeks-ish... since I have had the time to sit down and write a proper post.  I am terribly apologetic for my absence (in the even that any of you were actually disappointed that I have not been posting).  Where to begin?

Juan left last Sunday, heading home to California mid-morning.  We had a lovely long weekend together, going to the movies, out to dinner, having a grand fiesta at my house, and out to my friend's engagement soiree.



In other news, I know I shared that I was accepted to the MPH program at Columbia.  Unfortunately, it is looking less and less likely that I will be able to attend because the cost is absurdly expensive (i.e. I would have to borrow $60,000 for the two years).  So, I am trying to find out if it there is any financial aid/scholarship or if I might be able to defer.  In the meantime, I am searching for a more legitimate job, something in public health.  In a twist of fate, I am interviewing for a coaching position at the private school in my town, and am hoping they can take me on for the spring/summer and pay me a bit more than my current job at the animal hospital.  Basically, I have been baking on going to graduate school this fall for the past nine-or-so months and now that plan is totally going to pot.  Thinking about the money and not moving forward in life generally gets me quite upset.

And most importantly, in weight news.  UGH.  I have had no less than three people in the past two weeks ask me if I have lost weight/warned me not to lose/told me I looked really toned.  However, I hopped on the scale this morning and my weight was an absolutely horrifically disgusting 134.2 pounds. 134?!?!?!  I haven't been that fat since September.  I don't understand how people think I look decent.  I think I look fat - particularly my arms - in the pictures from my friend Kathryn's party.  I need to really crack down this month.  My two main goals for this month are to not spend ANY unnecessary money (no ebay, no shopping, no going out to lunch, etc.) and no chocolate or sweets for the entire month.  Winter is hard around here, since the produce isn't quite as good.  Luckily, spring is coming and I will be eating more salads and less calories.  As of March 3rd, when I made this pact, I have had only one tiny sliver of cake that I baked for a going-away party, and two homemade chocolate chip cookies.  Those cookies, which I ate out of depression this morning (hey grumpy mood/134.2 on the scale/pouring rain!) I absolutely swear that I am going cold-turkey in order to break this cycle.  I need to focus on getting under 130 again (I disgust myself to think I was easily 128 before Christmas).  On a better note, I have been exercising very steadily.  I run all the time - ran my fastest 5k at the gym last week... 23:48! - and have continued with my circuit/weight training classes.  I know I am putting on muscle mass (i.e. weight), but I want my abs to show this summer.  The only way that is going to happen is if I am under 120 pounds.

Anyway, thank you so much for listening to my ramblings.  I promise I will get back on the posting/commenting train this week.

Oh, and thank you to Cinnamon - she mailed me a package sometime last week!  I cannot wait for it to arrive!

12 comments:

Cinnamon Brown said...

Lovely photos! The b&w looks like a still from a 60's movie! Stunning!

Glad you had such a good time with your man and that things are going so well.

Don't worry, it's spring now, so you can get back in the game and reach your goals! I can't believe that you won't get a scholarship. You're too brilliant not to!

Hope this week is a great one for you! *Big Hug*! <3. XXX.

VictoriaCrimson said...

You look GORGEOUS! My god, your face does look lovely and small; even if you don't want to hear it... it's true!

xo
Victoria

Sea said...

I thought those were inspirational photos! You are pretty, reminding me of Carey Mulligan, who is one of the most gorgeous girls on the planet at the moment. You both look so happy. Glad to hear from you again :) Nice job running by the way!

Ariana said...

I was wondering what you had been up to lately! You are so beautiful in those pics! Your hair looks nice as well. Juan is a very handsome fellow- you two look great together! It's good to be able to put a face with a name. That's awesome how even though you two live so far away, you're still keeping your relationship going. Since your weight has gone up but you're exercising, I bet you're losing inches and gaining some muscle. Don't let the weight gain discourage you! You'll get below the 130s soon- the weather will be warm and sunny, which usually has a positive impact on a person's mood, and you can run to your heart's content out side. 23 minute 5k? Whoa, you're really bookin' it! Keep up the awesome work!

Ayden said...

New follower here =] love your blog!

Eeshie said...

You. Are. So. PRETTY!

Columbia? Dammmmn. You must be one smart girl!

Okay, this next question is going to show how stupid I am: What's MPH?

Dani said...

awww u 2 look so cute together im glad taht u guys are in a good place and ubetter stay tehre too
the rain did suck today didnt it ugh

Tai said...

I missed you!

You look so cute in those pictures! He looks so you! You both are so cute together! Looks like a fun shindig and I love the dress. love.

I am having the same financial problems school-wise right now. I really need to transfer to a cheaper place which sucks because I love my school. I really, really hope you get financial aid! If not, depending on what you want to do afterwards you may be able to get government assistance paying off loans and since your going to school you shouldn't have to pay anything off until a year after you graduate. Money is always stressful. Best of luck!

Smallasapanda said...

You look so happy in your photos it's beautiful to see!
You must have put on muscle mass for your friends to notice how great you're looking (which you are)

I'ts so fantastic you have such a supportive relationship, they can really help in all aspects of life.


Spring is good for low cal foods too.

So good luck :)

Adeline said...

Oh my goodness, our boyfriends could be brothers darling! They have exactly the same complexion and hair. Mine just has a bit of salt and pepper about the temples ;)

I really enjoyed reading this post, it's always so lovely to hear how things are going in your life. You look absolutely beautiful in those photos, I bet Juan feels like the luckiest man on earth.

I think I need to go cold turkey for a little while as well, just to break out of bad habits. If you would like to do a little fast together at some stage (though I won't fast on days I have university anymore) I'm absolutely your girl :)

Love you, as always, more and more,
Your loyal follower and true friend,
Adeline xx

Peridot (G+P) said...

Of two minds-
HOW DARE YOU NOT POST!
and-
Oh thank FUCK no huge backlog to have to catch up on from my week of uselessness!
XD

You two would make GORGEOUS babies. When you gonna start spawning, huh? HUH?!? :p

Mich said...

You are so pretty, and you two look so cute together!!

Sorry about grad school not working out for fall. I feel your pain. I've been trying to get my arse in gear to go to grad school, but I just can't afford it. :( We'll get there one day!!

xoxo

 

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