It's been a while

I know, I know, it has been a while...

Now I finally have time for some regular updates AND if the past is any indication for my future, writing on here has always helped me lose weight, and right now that is a major goal.  But we will get to that in a minute.

So lately... things with my boyfriend are going smashingly.  We Skype a lot and have exchanged a bit of mail.  We managed to talk about some tough things, especially concerning Pauline, and are just really solid (which is incredible, considering the distance).  Unlike with Juan, who I was constantly afraid would lose interest, Benjamin has already made travel arrangements to spend almost three weeks here with me in November, and invited me for Christmas.  He is constantly making me feel appreciated and it is obvious that he truly cares about me.  I am in a very good, safe, comforted place with this.

In other news, I restarted Insanity, so I begin week two tomorrow.  I will also be taking yoga classes at least once a week with a friend who is going through teacher training.  She is awesome and needs to practice being a yoga teacher, and I am an eager poor student, so we are a great match.  And if that was not challenging enough, I have been trying to keep some regular running dates (8 miles tomorrow after Insanity!!) and am organizing a 5k for Thanksgiving.

The biggest news of late, which is legitimately huge, is that I received a job offer today!  I have been hunting since May, and had a bunch of phone interviews, but this was my first offer.  I am definitely going to take it, as the job is interesting, I am qualified and prepared for it, I can live at home, and the salary is quite good.  I will be able to work on paying off my student loans ASAP and get a new car (mine is about to start having horrible things go wrong with it and will not be worth fixing).  Also, it is much easier to get to France from here than, say, San Francisco or Madagascar (both places I interviewed for).  I feel like it's a bit of a dream to begin my first adult job, after all of these years in school, but I am psyched.

And then, as always, there is my weight.  I came from France at an embarrassingly high weight.  Not that I gained that much (four pounds), but I was too heavy before I left, and have not seen the scale budge since I returned.  Since my boyfriend is arriving in 55 days and I am about to start a new chapter in my life, now is just as good of a time as any to get into gear.  The results from Insanity will be so much better if change my eating and I will fit back into some of the clothes I would like to wear to work.  I am somewhat satisfied with how my body looks, to be honest.  I wish I didn't have such a double chin when I smile and that my thighs/arms/waist were a bit slimmer, but overall I think I have battled a lot of those demons when I was away this summer.  That being said, I know that when I am stressed and busy (which is about to happen), those thoughts creep back and certain behaviors return.  I am trying very hard to be health, but at the same time, I would love to reach my dream of 125 (well, my ultimate dream is 118, but it's impossible and I would probably look ill).  In short, I do not have a very well laid-out plan for my meals yet, but I am going to work on planning the next two weeks tonight and tomorrow and it is obvious that I need to track my calories.  The exercise I am doing is great and healthy.  I just need to keep the other bits healthy too.

How the hell is everyone???  I am up to date (for the most part) on reading, but I feel so disconnected.

Big news!

Sorry for the delay.  It does seem like I have been apologizing an awful lot for not keeping this blog more up-to-date.  I need to get back into a good blogging groove.  This community and recording what is going on in my life is the only way I ever lose weight.

As for my big announcement...  I am going to graduate school!  For those of you who have been reading since I started, you already know that I moved home to New Jersey after starting graduate school in San Diego and only completing one year.  Last winter, I applied to Columbia, Tufts, and George Mason.  I was accepted to all three, but quickly realized that there was no way I could afford any of these great private universities.  So, for the past month or so, I have been applying for job after job, just hoping to get an interview.  Then, two weeks ago, I received an email from the chair of the Community and Global Health Department in the School of Public Health and George Mason University, offering me a paid research assistant position.  I was thrilled, but still felt very uneasy about the necessity to more than double my debt in order to attend.  I asked if there was any possibility of obtaining an out-of-state tuition waiver - basically the school would treat me like a Virginia resident and I would pay that tuition, which is significantly less expensive than out-of-state.  (For those of you not familiar with the US higher education system, basically it's expensive and screwy)  After two nervous weeks, I found out that they were able to obtain the funding for that!  Orientation for my program is on August 24th, so I am moving to the Washington, DC metro area in less than a month - crazy right??  I am incredibly excited to have such a good opportunity and be able to finally get my adult life on the right track.  I will be studying for my masters in public health and hope to work for a government or non-profit humanitarian aid group.

As for eating and my weight.  I was doing very well and managed to get down to a pre-gym/run 135 last week.  Then, I had a few bad days and I'm back to 136-137.  I ran this evening, and hope that will help my morning weigh-in be better.  Hopefully, I will not eat too much since it is supposed to be another really hot day tomorrow.  I have been keeping up with my training plan for my half-marathon in September, so I have been running quite a bit in addition to my classes at the gym.  I know I eat way too much, hence why the weight is not coming off.  Maybe living on my own soon will help.  I am desperate to lose at least 18 pounds.  I want to be 120.  Heck, I would be happy with 125, most likely.  I am simply not working hard enough.

Finally, I promise that I will comment tomorrow.  You have all been writing so faithfully, and the least I can do is leave an encouraging comment to go along.

Tomorrow is a gym day, but I might add on a short warm-up run of 1.5-2 miles or take back-to-back classes.  I still need to try and wiggle into this dress by the time Juan arrives for my friend's wedding in two weeks.  I wish I could just snap my fingers and be thinner.  The least I can do is skip breakfast.